change.

What is change?

at this day and age, maybe i never really grasp and understand this word properly. these 8 months i feel alot of changes happening in me. i change, for the better or for the worse. i love who i am, but for some reason i chose to change into someone else. i tried and i did. i turn to someone that sometimes i myself do not recognize. maybe u can't see it but i feel the change. and maybe this move made by u, tell me that it is the wrong decision.

there are many things that happened these few months. i dunno what happen with you and what ur friends have told u. i love u alot, and i think loads of people could have seen it. maybe this is better for the both of us. with all that has happened, i thought it was possible but i am way too wrong. dead wrong. and once again, all the pain that i removed years ago creeped back out. i rmb all these all too well. a heavy heart when u wake up in the morning, and it is a lasting feeling that stays through the day. but life goes on. you just have to embrace it and just live it as how it pans out for you.

"it is just how it is" this is something i always tell myself. it reminds me that everything happen for a reason. if something don't work out, try something new. it still doesn't work, keep trying other stuff. till something works and click and that's the how life is.

i think i will be perfectly fine. come on, Joshua. there will be a road that is for you to walk and maybe sooner or later there will be someone else walking this road with u :)

on a side note , from the bottom of my heart, enjoy urself. wish u two all the best.